1. “Oh, I’ve had something like that before, you’ll be fine.”

So many times, there can be shared symptoms with individuals fighting health crises. It’s easy to jump to conclusions, presuming the outcome will be the same. Even with people who have similar conditions I have, I try to be careful not to equate my health condition as the exact same as theirs. Within a single disease, there can be various levels of mobility and disability. Everybody’s body is different.

 

2. “What you have is an easy fix. All you have to do is___________.”

When someone has striven to find health for a long time, giving them an easy solution answer feels insensitive. Have you gone to their many doctor appointments? Do you know their case history? Have you seen their health regimen throughout the months and even years? It’s tempting to give a “quick bullet recipe” to wellness, but it’s unfortunately not always so simple.

 

3. “You should/shouldn’t do ___________”.

Most people are fine with suggestions. Have you ever thought to try ___________ to help your health? Suggestions are not lording over someone, telling them what they ought to do. It’s solely a compassionate mention on what could possibly help the person. The person still feels like they have the choice to either accept or deny the advice.

 

  The individual hearing the converse knows the difference by how they feel. It’s essentially asserting authority over someone, telling them what they should/shouldn’t do. It comes in these words “you have to,” “you shouldn’t do,” “you need to,” and “you ought to.” In this scenario, the person feels blocked into a corner because they don’t feel like they have a free will to say “no.” No one likes that feeling, even outside of health-related matters. The book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend superbly covers this topic.

4. “You just don’t have enough faith.”

I love the quadriplegic, Joni Eareckson Tada’s response to this one in her book, A Place of Healing. She recounts an incident where a very well-intentioned man discovered which church she attended with the intent purpose of tracking her down to enlighten her about how she can be healed from her crippled state.

When he tracked her down in the parking lot, he noted how the paralyzed individual in the Bible was able to walk through faith, thus, she should just ‘get more faith’ so she can walk. She responded with grace and truth, asking him to turn in his Bible to the passage he mentioned. He complied. She then pointed out that the paralyzed person was not in fact healed through the paralyzed individual’s own personal faith, but rather the faith of those surrounding the cripple. She then politely but humorously said, “..If God has it in His plan to lift me out of the wheelchair, He could use your faith. So keep believing!…” 1

We can’t assume someone is in a deteriorated state of health because of a lack of faith.

  • The Apostle Paul in the Bible certainly did not lack faith (2 Cor. 12:7-10) (Gal. 4:13-16), nor did righteous Job in the Old Testament.
  • Even though our spiritual life is important to health and we have guidelines in the Word about health there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to healing. 
  • If you do feel like someone’s faith is waning due to their health, don’t condemn them. Chastising them for a lack of faith will most likely do the exact opposite of what you were hoping would happen. Instead, pray for them, mourn with them, encourage them in their faith, and remember how patient God was with you.
  • Also be reminded that God can heal an individual based on your faith, just like the account we read in Luke 5:17-20. 

 

5. “Why Weren’t You Healed Immediately?” 

Jesus’ name is the most powerful name. It’s the name of the only man who can ever claim a sinless life. He is the only one who was able to carry on the unique fullness of man while retaining His glorious position of God. He transcends cultures, ages, times… the list goes on! His name holds power when it is proclaimed and there is no denying that people have been healed from the authority of Jesus’ name. The problem comes when we condemn someone who is not healed immediately when they’re prayed over in the name of Jesus. Healing can be instantaneous or it can happen over time.

6. Don’t ostracize the sick.

This last point is not so much what someone says, but what they do (or more accurately put, what they don’t do). Do you avoid those with infirmities, and instead, only carry on relationships that are problem free with people just like you? The Bible says to invite the lame and crippled to eat. Invite people who cannot repay you. The Bible also stresses to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. The rejoicing part is the easy part. The mourning isn’t always fun! But just think, you could be the very light someone needs in their time of darkness.

*Important note: if you have ever done any of the above to an individual who is ill or suffering, know that there is grace for slip-ups! Know that this is not a list to condemn, but instead to educate, enlighten, and spread empathy.

 

1. Tada, Joni Eareckson. “Introduction.” A Place of Healing: Wrestling with the Mysteries of Suffering, Pain, and God’s Sovereignty. 1st ed. Colorado Springs, CO: David C. Cook, 2010. 15-17. Print.

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