I regularly write on the topic of the Mommy Wars and the damage they are doing to the church in our day. One of the ways in which the onslaught of the Mommy Wars is wreaking havoc is by causing us to major on the minors, or to harp on and focus our attention primarily on those issues which are secondary and not actually Scriptural in nature.


Unfortunately, this tendency to major on the minors has become a very common one in Christendom, leading us, as the church, to shoot ourselves in the foot, as it were. Lest we think it no big deal to make this mistake of focusing on issues which are of less importance, let’s consider what this practice actually leads to. When we major on the minors,


  • We judge each other unfairly and thereby weaken relationships.

Majoring on the minors leads to us judging our brothers based on what we think are the important issues of our day and according to man-made rules, rather than according to what the Lord actually values and calls important in His Word. This quickly weakens the relationships among those in the Body of Christ, which, in turn, weakens the church as a whole


  • We forget God’s grace and instead embrace legalism.

As briefly touched on above, majoring on the minors leads to legalism rather quickly. We begin to act as the Pharisees did – taking what actually was taught in the Scriptures, adding our own lists of rules and expectations to it, and then looking down our noses on anyone who fails to live up to our man-made standard. This, again, weakens relationships. But even further than that, it leads to a complete misunderstanding, and truly an ignoring of, God’s grace. Instead of being wise in our own eyes, focusing on our own little pet topics and what we value the most, we need to be about the business of understanding God’s truth – we need to see our need for grace and then extend that same grace to others.


We need to see our need for grace and then extend that same grace to others. Click to Tweet


  • We fail to rest and abide in Christ.

When we are in such a tizzy as to how we and our families and our neighbors – and even people we don’t know! – are living up to the particular issues we like to harp on, we are guilty of vain toiling. We need to cease from all this striving and instead rest in the grace of God. We need to simply abide in Christ. After all – we are to seek first the Kingdom and then everything else will follow from that.



  • We forget the majors – majoring on the minors causes us to minor on the majors.

When we are so busy focusing on those topics which interest us or on those man-made rules we have created for ourselves and everyone else, we forget what is actually important to God and what He Himself has actually commanded of us, His church. This plays out in the Mommy Wars, for example, on a regular basis when all we do is focus on whether or not our fellow mamas do or do not breastfeed, vaccinate, co-sleep, or keep their children rear-facing in the car until they’re three years old.


Look at almost any Facebook group geared towards motherhood (including Christian ones, sadly!) and you see it time and time and time again. Bickering and hoopla over what we are each doing in these aforementioned areas of motherhood, but hardly any talk at all about how we are seeking to train up our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6) or particular, practical ways we can be loving our children well (Titus 2:4) or how we can be building up our homes rather than tearing them down (Proverbs 14:1).

This is dangerous ground to be on.


For, if we are not saturated in the Word of God more so than in the latest parenting book or idea of man, we are going to be ripe for the picking when error begins to come our way. We have to keep our eyes fixed on Christ, our minds meditating on His Word. For, if we don’t, we will miss the boat. We will be majoring on the minors and minoring on the majors, forgetting what is most important.


Souls are at stake. And it’s high time the Church wake up and return to the truths of God’s Word.


  • We push away the watching world.

Perhaps the saddest thing of all is how this tendency of majoring on the minors, or nitpicking about those topics which are actually of less importance, is affecting the watching world that is in need of God’s love and saving grace. We are pushing them away through our actions. We have already seen how this practice of majoring on the minors leads to unfair, harsh judgment and legalism. This judgment and legalism, in turn, leads to the lost world wanting nothing whatsoever to do with the God whose name we claim. And this, dear reader, is the utmost tragedy here.


Souls are at stake. And it’s high time the Church wake up and return to the truths of God’s Word.


Souls are at stake. And it's high time the Church wake up and return to the truths of God's Word. Click to Tweet


Rebekah Hargraves is a wife, mama of two littles, home business owner, podcaster, and blogger residing in TN. Her passion is to bless fellow Christian women through her writings on her website, Hargraves Home and Hearth, which exists to edify, equip, and encourage women in their journey of Biblical womanhood. You can find her on: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and of course, Rebekah’s website, Hargraves Home and Hearth.