“Did you notice that while it is very true that women have one chapter dedicated to them in Proverbs, men have chapters 1-30 that pertains to them. Meaning, that even though those first thirty chapters in Proverbs can still be beneficial to women, it was initially meant for a man. So there’s a whole lot men have to live up to- believe me!”
I guess I should rewind a little. This snippet I’m talking to you about above was something my husband responded to me with years ago. You know, after I was complaining minutes upon minutes about the list of requirements it takes to fulfill the attributes of a Proverbs 31 woman.
He let me know there was a Proverbs 1-30 man since that chunk of Proverbs was intentionally for a man.
I was a little in shock.
So, I asked my husband how I can help him become a Proverbs 1-30 man and he gave me his answers. But before I delve into how to encourage your husband to become a Proverbs 1-30 man, I want to first talk about what it even means to be a Proverbs 1-30 man so you know exactly what you’re encouraging your husband to become.
That should be fair enough, right?
In a nutshell, a Proverbs 1-30 man…
Has the desire to grow in wisdom and discernment. He understands that whatever he thinks in his heart, that’s what he becomes. (Proverbs 23:7) His inward growth impacts his behavior in who he chooses as his company. Although he may be concerned with reaching the lost and the worst of all sinners, he chooses to become refreshed by his friends who seek the Lord and he also chooses not to place himself in a compromising situation that could lead him to sin. Keeping his mind and deeds pure are a high priority to the Proverbs 1-30 man.
Even though the term has been relegated to the archaic, he fears the Lord. Let me unpack that further since it is an old-school term. He desires so much to please God that pleasing men out of fear of what they may think of him is a distant thought. At the same time, he also knows that God uses people to speak into his life and since he knows none of us have arrived, he chooses to listen when he’s gently confronted and he desires to seek wise counsel in his life.
Providing Encouragement for Your Husband to Become a Proverbs 1-30 Man
Intentionally notice what he’s doing RIGHT and speak life on these areas.
Our job isn’t to fix our husband’s because we are not the Holy Spirit, but we can help cultivate growth in our husband’s by intentionally taking notice of what he’s doing right. Did he help you by making the bed? Make an effort to extend your gratitude. Has he been trying to spend more quality time with you lately? Make sure he knows you appreciate this from him. Keep in mind that what we’re saying here is the opposite of what Proverbs 29:5 says which warns against flattery. You’re not laying on some thick words that aren’t true; you’re truly noticing what he’s doing that’s right and letting him know you notice.
Keep in mind too, that when you’re infusing him with truthful encouragement, you’re doing the opposite of what the Proverbs 1-30 man was warned about. And what’s that? The Proverbs 1-30 man was warned against marrying a nagging wife (Proverbs 15:17, Proverbs 21:9, Proverbs 21:19, Proverbs 25:24). If doing the opposite of encouragement diminishes your husband’s potential to become a Proverbs 1-30 man, what do you think truthful encouragement will do?
And the areas where he’s wrong?…
Never stop praying for your husband. Pray for specific growth in the areas where you know he’s weak. But also know there may be a time to lovingly confront him as well. I know that some Christians may challenge this idea as a woman not submitting to her husband, but keep in mind that if Esther never lovingly challenged her husband, King Xerxes with his plan to kill the Israelites, the first Jewish holocaust could have happened long before Hitler. It’s all in how it’s done which we talk about more here.
And always remember, you’re the woman your husband said his “I do’s” to and the very woman meant to help him grow into the potential he has to become a Proverbs 1-30 man.