To My Dear Friend Facing Chronic Illness:
I’ve seen you coming out from the doctor’s office. You come back soon after with orange cylindrical bottles that have newly hit the market, promising change.
Or you have your armful of supplements lined up neatly on the counter.
You only wish your body had such order.
You have to hide your struggles- sometimes vacillating from the hope of betterment and even the shift to depression when there isn’t steady progress.
You feel like you can’t verbalize your physical and emotional turmoil because well, so many aren’t there to listen. Or you just feel…awkward. The automatic response is the social niceties “I’m fine” or “I’m okay” must replace what’s dying to be said on the inside.
You don’t want to play the martyr card, you just want to be heard and understood… sans the awkwardness.
Maybe you can see why so many end their lives because their physical illness leaves them boxed into a painful facade.
From me to you: you do have intrinsic worth. Even if your productivity declined with your health, the worth of what you do does not define you, nor does the notations on a doctor’s documentations.
I wish I could sit with you this very moment over a steaming cup of tea and tell you your situation will evaporate like the steam floating in the air, yet I can’t promise that. But I can tell you that you don’t have to say you’re “fine” to me. I would want to hear a heart screaming to be heard.
I hope that whoever reads this will find safe people who will understand you. Please, my friend, find a group of people who want to see beyond a fake smile. If I can’t be with you face to face, please find someone who can.
You’re worth the story you have to share. And I know more than anything you wish to find a kindred spirit to share the same with you.
I’m leaving you with a quote from my notebook especially for you, my friend. A quote that fits you perfectly: