Through this last year, we have held onto the role of God as Author more so than we have ever before. Our choice in reading God as Author from our last post was a personal one. We wanted to saturate ourselves in seeing God as Author- the writer of our lives.
When we created this blog with the name “Inkblots of an Idealist,” we initially meant our own inkblots, but as the concept unfurled in our minds more, we realized that God was the ultimate Idealist. If we were truly going to describe what an idealist was : someone who sees the real decay around us yet wants to ideally effect positive change, then who truly would be the most deserving of this title? We certainly could not be the poster children of that one!
We are truly inkblots of the Idealist. We are the splattered mess that seeks the ultimate Idealist to become idealists ourselves.
God saw our depraved world- murders, feuding, soiled hearts, yet wanted to effect change by becoming God-man and dying to set us free. He saw a mess, yet He also saw hope.
The two of us have been utterly reliant on God’s pen strokes knowing that He is our Author and Perfecter (Heb. 12:2), and we hold fast to knowing that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and our called according to His purpose.(Rom. 8:28)
We know our hope is anchored in a belief that is grounded. God had proven Himself to us in the past, He had given us too many resources to rely on Him as a creator, and that Christ’s death and resurrection was evident. We knew He was the Author…
But then there were those days where we would certainly have taken the pen from God if it was visible. The pain felt too close and God seemed so far away. It felt like God’s pen had stalled midair, dropping only ink splatters on our pages of life. But did it really? If the Author truly cares about the characters He has breathed life into, then would His script stall, leaving us to scramble to survive life on our own accord?
Did the Author not see me gasping for oxygen that seemed so limited with my lungs that were so worn?
Does He not see the tears of my husband?
Does the Author not see the falls and the horrifying after effects?
There were so many times where the reality side of the world was closer to us than the idealism side of God.
He did have a hope and future for us. (Jer. 29:11)
He was truly God with us. (Matt 1:23)
He didn’t want us to merely survive this journey. (1 Cor. 15:57-58)
He wanted us to lean on and trust in Him, knowing that He does not author evil. (Prov. 3:5-6)
How heartbreaking would it be after all the pain to answer the question “How did you guys get through your rocky trials?” with “We survived; we just grit our teeth and pressed on.” That would be a waste of a perfectly good opportunity for growth! We have grown, but I hope it to be exponentially greater. I hope we can assuredly say that we rely on God as Author more and more every day, experiencing Him and not simply having a vague understanding muted by a life that declares the opposite. May knowledge and experience converge even more for us this year. I never want to be settled with not wanting more.
We truly hope that all of you will be blessed in your own lives with the pen of the Idealist making a mark on your life. Our story is not done yet, friend, and neither is yours.
Sarah & Michael